We live in an ‘achievement’ world, so much so that we’ve lost sight of the productive
attitudes it takes to get through the less than stellar moments. Praise is lavish for ‘a job
well-done’. What about a best effort that doesn’t earn an ‘A’ or a trophy?
Not everyone is going to be a superstar. Some kids work really hard to earn the ‘C’.
Some will forever be out in right field (where the ball rarely goes). And when they just
keep plugging away anyway, they are building strong character, persistence and positive
self-esteem.
Make sure to acknowledge this! “That was a difficult project, but you stuck with it and
gave it all you had.” “I know volunteering in class is really hard for you, but you pushed
yourself and spoke up. How does that feel?”
The feel-good praise of achievements comes and goes, but strong productive attitudes
are theirs alone and can never be taken away. The next time your child flops or shines,
show her that attitude counts.
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Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
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