Does Your Advice Really Help? Ask Yourself One Simple Question First by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

The idea of asking, "Does this really need to be said?" is a powerful tool for parents of teens navigating daily challenges.

During adolescence, emotions can run high, and tension may build over what seem like minor issues. By pausing and reflecting before speaking, parents can avoid unnecessary conflict, build stronger relationships, and model thoughtful communication.

Often, we feel compelled to voice our opinions, offer advice, or correct behavior immediately. But teens, whose job it is to become more independent and forge their identity, may receive these well-intentioned comments as criticism or control.

Before responding, take a moment to consider whether your input is truly necessary. Is it supportive, or is it likely to trigger defensiveness? Is this a moment to guide, or is it a moment to simply listen?

This practice isn’t about withholding communication but being intentional with it. Teens benefit when they see their parents exercising self-control and responding thoughtfully. Sometimes the response is to not say something.

Over time, this creates an environment where they can trust you to listen, rather than micromanage or criticize. Hold back on non-essential comments to make room for more meaningful interactions.

Also, remember that saying less ultimately gives your teen the chance to puzzle through things themselves. This leaves room for self-awareness and problem-solving skills to grow.

When you’re tempted to offer advice or correction, pause and ask yourself, "Does this really need to be said?" You might find that silence speaks volumes and will grow a deeper connection between you and your teen.

Action Step:

Does everything you say push your teen's buttons? Let's talk. Click here to book your free Parent Support Call. We'll discuss simple strategies to help you pause so you can decide whether you need to say anything at all.

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.