It’s easy to lose your cool when emotions run high. Parenting can test your patience, especially when communication breaks down.
But here's the truth: yelling rarely solves the problem. It frequently makes both you and your teen feel worse. If yelling didn’t work for you growing up, consider the value in trying a different approach with your own kids.
This is why the reminder—limit your "scream time"—is so impactful. Inspired by "screen time" limits, it highlights the importance of staying calm under stress.
Just as excessive screen time can create disconnection and unhealthy habits, too much screaming can damage trust and destroy closeness in your family.
It’s natural to feel frustrated at times, even expected. Self-control is a learned skill, not a fixed personality trait. It requires patience and practice. When you feel the urge to raise your voice, try pausing to reflect:
· Am I expressing my frustration, or will this help the situation?
· What do I want my child to learn from this interaction?
· How can I communicate my feelings without overpowering theirs?
Shifting from yelling to calm, firm communication conveys a powerful message: self-control is a choice. Modeling emotional regulation gives your children lifelong skills.
Limiting your "scream time" doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It means expressing them in a thoughtful, respectful way while handling conflicts constructively.
And when you do lose your cool (because you will), use it as a growth opportunity. Apologize, reconnect, and show your child how to learn from mistakes.
Remember, your words and volume have the power to build up or break down. Choose them carefully. Your family's emotional well-being is worth the effort.
For more communication strategies and scripts, click here to request your free guide, “10 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teen”.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
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