When someone asks what my biggest obstacle to success is in any particular endeavor, I have to be honest. The answer is usually “me.” My thoughts and beliefs, that is.
It’s too easy to look around me and find an external reason why something isn’t working.
Upset by someone’s response to me?
The child in me wants to be liked; yet it puts me in the passive, victim state. The person in front of me is easy to blame. If only they’d … whatever.
I learned that I have a choice about how to respond. Now it means not giving up or giving in to be liked. I won’t lie, it’s hard work, necessary, and so satisfying.
Controlling my diabetes?
When junk food or food not on plan appears, the ultimate responsibility for what goes in my mouth is mine. There will always be times and places when the food on the table is a temptation.
And when I do give in to temptation, I’m learning (oh, so slowly) to be gentle with myself. Judging myself never takes me anywhere good.
Building my business?
I love coaching parents, really love it, more than anything I’ve done before. Everything it takes to build a business? Not so much.
I could blame external factors: the economy, people’s priorities, timing. Something feels hard, there’s not enough information, I’m so very tired. The reason doesn’t matter.
The problem isn’t ‘out there’. It’s inside, between my ears, in my thoughts and beliefs.
The problem is when I lose focus on what is and isn’t in my control.
The only things in my control are my feelings, my beliefs, my choices, and my actions.
The challenges are mine and the solutions are mine. Period.
It’s this learning that I share with parents. Parenting can be easier when we recognize what’s our business and what’s not; learn not to take personally the words and moods of our teens; and do what needs to be done, rather than what feels safer.
I know it feels scary to dive into this. Do it anyway. You'll experience new opportunities in parenting and life when you do.
Schedule a complimentary call with me. What you do now matters.
If you’re ready to up your parenting game and bring out your child’s best, email me. Let’s do this together. fern@fernweis.com or join my private FB group HERE.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
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