What does raising the bar look like for you? What expectations do you have for your children? Setting high expectations can motivate and inspire growth, if the bar isn’t set unrealistically high.
When expectations are out of reach, it can lead to stress, frustration, or even shutdown. For children to thrive, it’s essential to find a balance between encouraging progress and setting achievable goals.
In my experience as a teacher, I saw many students struggle with organization and keeping track of assignments. Meetings with parents and school counselors often resulted in long lists of expectations or tasks that children were suddenly expected to accomplish.
Imagine being handed a list like that—it can feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. Some students simply gave up, feeling defeated before they even started. It’s too much, too quickly. For these students, just remembering to put finished homework in their backpack was a major accomplishment.
Goals and tasks typically require a series of smaller, manageable steps. Start with the big picture but implement changes gradually. Recognize and celebrate small achievements along the way, because nothing builds momentum and confidence like success.
By breaking down larger goals and working step by step, you help your child develop the skills and resilience they need to make steady progress.
Quote
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
Reflection
1. What expectations have I set for my child, and are they realistic?
2. How might my child feel about the expectations I set?
======
P.S. The holidays can be delightful and stressful. Want to reduce the stress of preparation, lack of cooperation, and unpleasant friends and family? Get your free Holiday Survival Guide. Send me an email at fern@fernweis.com for your copy.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
Comments