Staying Grounded: How to Manage Your Emotions When Someone Else Is in a Mood by Maram Barakat, M.A.

Updated: Jan 31

Woman with long hair in a gray sweater looks upset, sitting indoors. Blurred man gestures in the background, appearing concerned. Bergen County Moms.

Navigating someone else’s mood can be a delicate and sometimes challenging experience. Whether it's a friend, family member, or colleague, when someone else is feeling off, it can be hard to know how to respond.

The key is to first tune into your own emotions, understand how their mood is affecting you, and then decide how you can offer support while maintaining your own emotional balance.

Here are some strategies from Lukin Center for managing these situations with compassion, patience, and self-awareness, so you can foster positive interactions without losing sight of your own well-being.

How to Manage Your Emotions When Someone Else is in a Mood

Self-Awareness

Recognize Your Own Emotions: Pause and identify what you’re feeling. Are you frustrated, anxious, or sad? Acknowledge your emotions without judgment.
Understand Your Triggers: Reflect on why the person’s mood affects you. Does it remind you of an experience, or does it feel like a personal attack?

Create Emotional Boundaries

Separate Their Feelings from Yours: Remind yourself that their mood is not your responsibility. You can empathize without making it your problem to solve. Visualize a boundary, such as a "mental bubble," to protect your emotional space.
Practice Affirmations: Use statements like "Their emotions are theirs to manage, not mine to fix."
Validate Without Absorbing
Empathy with Limits: Show understanding by saying something like "I can see you’re upset," but avoid over-identifying with their emotions.
Don’t Try to Fix It: Sometimes, people just need space to process their feelings without interference.

Grounding Techniques

Deep Breathing: Use slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system if you feel triggered.

Body Scanning: Check for tension in your body (e.g., clenched jaw, tight shoulders) and consciously relax those areas.

Mindfulness: Focus on the present moment by noticing your surroundings, or step away and take a break!

Reframe the Situation

Shift Perspective: Instead of seeing their mood as something to fear or fix, view it as an opportunity to practice compassion—for them and yourself.

Recognize Patterns: If this is a recurring dynamic, reflect on ways to approach it differently in the future.

Communicate Assertively

Set Limits if Necessary: If their mood is overwhelming or disruptive, kindly set a boundary such as, "I understand you’re upset, but I need a moment to take care of myself so I can better attend to you later."

Be Clear About Your Needs: Use "I" statements like "I feel overwhelmed when there’s tension, so I need some space."

Maram Barakat, M.A., is pursuing her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She has a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University, with a special focus on global mental health and research methods. She is primarily interested in providing access to quality mental health services in low-to-middle income countries and vulnerable populations. She is especially passionate about working with survivors of abuse and violence. In fact, she has integrated her passion with her academic interests by focusing her master's thesis on culturally adapting and implementing cognitive processing therapy to Syrian refugee women who have experienced sexual violence during and post-displacement. Maram has worked as a mental health professional and advocate in Lebanon, Uganda, and New York for the past six years. At the Lukin Center, Maram will be taking on the role of social media manager. Her main responsibilities entail managing and monitoring the center's social media platforms, creating content, increasing engagement, and more. Apart from her professional interests, she enjoys acting, karaoke, and extreme sports.