“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” (Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)
Growing up, like me, you may have heard your parents say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” As a child, I understood that to mean, ‘Do as you’re told'.
As an adult, I can see that my parents were telling me they might not be the best role models, so try to follow the ideals in their words.
What principles do you believe in? How well do you live them? Kids are experts as knowing when what we say and what we do are out of sync.
There are many expressions that speak to this: talk is cheap, walk the talk, lead by example, and actions speak louder than words.
The next time you’re talking to your kids about values and attitudes, ask yourself, “Where am I in my commitment to these values? Am I expecting a better attitude from my children than I do from myself?
If you're prepared to hear some honest feedback, you might ask your child what they see. This could be a wonderful chance to learn about yourself and to inspire your teen as you work towards being an improved version of yourself.
If the truth is one of your values, this is truly ‘walking the talk’.
P.S. Want to dig a little deeper? Contact me here for a complimentary Parent Discovery Call.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
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