An unassuming holiday sneaks onto our calendars each and every September: Grandparents’ Day. This holiday doesn’t receive the fanfare of Mother’s Day—there is no sprint for health & wellness gift cards and brunch reservations—or Father’s Day, which is commonly ripe with beer, fishing or golf outings, and backyard barbeques. Children don’t come home from school with handmade projects, and I doubt you’d spot a crowd scoping out the greeting card aisle in search of the best Grandparents’ Day card ever. We mostly lump our grandmas in with our mothers and our grandpas in with our fathers, which does make sense when you think about it. And hey, even I’m a few weeks late to acknowledge this largely unacknowledged holiday.
But why isn’t Grandparents’ Day more widely celebrated? The holiday has been around for decades, first proclaimed in Congress in 1978 when many current grandparents of younger children were just young adults themselves. As the story goes, former President Nixon declined the suggestion to proclaim this new holiday due to the absence of congressional authorization, and former President Carter was swayed only after 43 states proclaimed their own Grandparents’ Days throughout the mid-1970s.
At the same time as our state and federal governments were acknowledging the ever important role grandparents play within families and in multigenerational communities, our federal government was facing a reckoning within the Civil Rights Movement concerning access to education for children with disabilities. As kids, our parents—our children’s grandparents—likely did not have classmates with high support needs, though they may have made a friend down the road who had survived polio or played on the weekends with a friend’s sibling who hadn’t been permitted access to the local public school. This was all about to change.
Although falling out of favor, it was still common practice in the mid-century for families to institutionalize their disabled children due to a lack of knowledge, resources, or both, but as time went on and laws such as Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and the Education for All Handicapped Children Act (now known as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA) were signed, more children were remaining home with their families, their abilities slowly becoming realized within a more equitable system. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something! And it made a lasting impact on our society.
Grandparents of today have an opportunity that generations before them did not—for the first time in many of their lives, they will come to know children with disabilities, blossoming on the branches of their own family trees. Experiences vary, and not all grandparents have seized the opportunity to embrace their special grandchildren, but there is a common thread among those included here: grandparents who love their grandchildren fiercely and believe in them and their individualities. How fortunate that behind the fight for equity and inclusion is the lived experience where fewer families are being torn apart by broken systems.
It’s never too late to celebrate an amazing grandparent! Go!
Janice & Joseph
We are blessed with four grandchildren: Logan (7yrs), Thor, Miya and Noa. Before Logan was born, we never had experience with disabled children. We always knew disabled children needed help, but we didn't know to what extent. Having Logan in our lives taught us the importance of family, support and community. The love he brings is amazing; he melts us with love and our love for him is unconditional. It doesn't make a difference whether a grandchild has a disability or not. He is just like any normal kid. Behind the curtains is different from what's shown in public, it's a lot of amazing work and brings the family together. He means the world to us.
We love pillow fights and having water fights together. My favorite thing about Logan is the way he welcomes you and hugs you. -Janice
I love to be with Logan and hug him. The one thing I really enjoy is when I get to cuddle with him during sleepovers. My favorite thing about him is his excitement to see you and his unconditional love. -Joseph
Kathy & Bill
We have six grandchildren: June, Belle and Honey live in Seattle. Alexander lives in Chicago. Luckily for us, James (9yrs) and Will live around the corner from us. My masters is in Special Ed, so I was very familiar with the Down syndrome community. I worked at a camp for kids with Down syndrome every summer in college. That being said, I feel like I have learned so much more since James was born. I am so much more aware of what individuals with Down syndrome can accomplish. When I was in college there was never discussion of kids with Down Syndrome going to college and living independently. There also wasn’t discussion of kids with Down syndrome being lifelong learners. (We now know these to be true and possible!)
We are so lucky to have James in our lives. He brings so much joy to all of us. He is always so happy to come to our house and has so much fun playing. I am always impressed at how long he can entertain himself. I love watching him role play with his characters and stuffed animals since it helps his speech; I see the most growth in speech during this time. Of course it isn’t always easy. James is stubborn and doesn’t always listen. However, with patience and skills we have learned from experts in the field, we have tools that are very effective. James has had many medical issues in his short life. I am so impressed with how he handles every medical challenge that he faces. He is an amazing kid!
No matter what we want to do with James, his favorite thing to do is read books. He will read books for hours! He especially loves reading with his Da Da Da! He loves to swim, so that’s fun to share with him. I also love how excited he gets at all new activities. He is an amazing traveler. We have shared many fun vacations with the boys.
Rosann
I have 7 grandchildren: Vincent, Ella, Spencer, Preston, Andy, Christopher and Lucas (8mos). Before Lucas was born, I was worried about how his diagnosis of Down syndrome would affect him. From the first time I held him, all those worries went away. He is the most amazing baby. He is so strong and determined to beat the odds. He’s so special that he draws me to him, and I can’t put him down. I love him so so much. His disability makes me more protective of him. I am also amazed at all his accomplishments.
I love to hold Lucas and talk to him. He is just full of love!
Aggie
I have two grandchildren: Matteo (7yrs) and Serafina. In my line of work, and over the course of more than 20 years, I've frequently interacted with individuals with physical, developmental and mental disabilities, and I think my perspectives about anyone affected in these ways are changing and evolving constantly. I love being Matteo’s grandmother...I love watching him grow, watching him progress and acquire new skills. I love seeing his sheer joy when he's doing the things he loves to do. I love how his mind is working even though he can't tell us what he's thinking. And I know that he is thinking...almost can hear the wheels turning in his head! Someday, he will share his beautiful thoughts with the world!!
At this point, interactive activities are very infrequent and short lived when they do happen. However, I love watching Matteo play creatively, whether building with magnetic tiles, or play doh, or drawing on his iPad. His intent and focus amaze me. Also, I love hearing him sing. He is extremely loving with his parents and his cousins.
Margaret
I have four grandchildren, one of which is autistic (Matteo, 7yrs). My perspective on disability has changed tremendously since Matteo was diagnosed. Years ago, if I saw a child having a tantrum, I may have thought the parent did not have a handle on their child's behavior. Now, we are seeing this through the child and parents' eyes. You don't know what they're going through. Everyone needs to be better educated to understand this community. My grandson is a gift! Every day is a new adventure, and I can't wait to see everything blossom. His capabilities are endless! He will blow us away one day and we can't wait for that day! He is collecting everything and one day we will hear it! He's so hard working and it will pay off--I know it!
I enjoy trying to expand his palate with healthy foods--and of course spending time with him! The BEST was picking him up from school and seeing his reaction that we were there! My favorite thing about him is his hugs when I would physically pick him up from school and he would just run and give the biggest hug!
Elizabeth & Warren
We have six grandchildren: Gavin, Abigail, Corrina, Owen, Hope (8yrs) and Henry (6yrs). Since knowing Hope and Henry, I am more deeply appreciative of each unique quality they possess and love seeing them mature and grow. They are so very brave in a world where not everyone is kind and careful with the seen or unseen needs of others. Always be patient and hold close the innocence and the trust they have in you. When a child takes your hand and lets you lead them across the street or across the playground, feel humbled and treasure the moment.
We love swimming with our grandchildren! And reading. And eating ice cream! Our favorite quality in Hope is the music deep in her soul, and in Henry, his empathy and sweet smile.
Elena Croy is an ordinary mom learning life’s lessons from her two extraordinary children. She and her husband are raising their little girl, who has Down syndrome, and their son, who was born with upper limb differences, in Ridgewood. Elena chronicles their challenges, triumphs, and goofiness at AtHerOwnPace.com. Elena is proud to serve as a grassroots Down syndrome advocate for the National Down Syndrome Society.
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