The Pause Method: A Simple Yet Powerful Tool for Diffusing Family Drama by Maram Barakat, M.A.

Three people in casual clothes sit on a sofa discussing earnestly. Bookshelves and plants are in the background, creating a cozy setting. Bergen County Moms.

Family dynamics can be complicated, and tensions often rise in the heat of the moment. But what if there was a simple, effective way to regain control and bring calm to those chaotic situations?

The Pause Method is a quick, powerful tactic designed to help you step back, breathe, and approach family conflicts with clarity and calm. Whether it's a heated argument or a misunderstanding, this method can transform how you navigate family drama.

P: Pause and Breathe

Before reacting, take a deep breath. Give yourself a moment to regulate your emotions before responding.

A: Assess the Situation

Ask yourself: What is actually happening here? Is this about me or is it their own issue playing out?

U: Understand Your Options

You don’t have to engage in every argument, you can choose to:

Respond calmly
Set a boundary
Exit the conversation
Redirect the discussion.

S: Say Something Intentional

If you decide to respond, keep it clear and composed. Example: Instead of saying "You always do this," try saying "I don’t want to argue. Let’s talk when we’re both calmer."

E: Exit or Engage Thoughtfully

If the conversation is productive, continue. If it’s escalating, step away. "I need a break from this. let’s revisit later."

Maram Barakat, M.A., is pursuing her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She has a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University, with a special focus on global mental health and research methods. She is primarily interested in providing access to quality mental health services in low-to-middle income countries and vulnerable populations. She is especially passionate about working with survivors of abuse and violence. In fact, she has integrated her passion with her academic interests by focusing her master's thesis on culturally adapting and implementing cognitive processing therapy to Syrian refugee women who have experienced sexual violence during and post-displacement. Maram has worked as a mental health professional and advocate in Lebanon, Uganda, and New York for the past six years. At the Lukin Center, Maram will be taking on the role of social media manager. Her main responsibilities entail managing and monitoring the center's social media platforms, creating content, increasing engagement, and more. Apart from her professional interests, she enjoys acting, karaoke, and extreme sports.